Spoiled for Choice

I'm sitting in the "Infocafe," an area adjacent to one of the lunch rooms where people can use the internet and eat that the same time (not as messy as it could be, all things considered). There was a girl with THE MOST ANNOYING VOICE EVER who I was trying to tune out. Of course, she couldn't be nice and just shut up, and proceeded to tell the most useless story about how her roommate hugged her from behind and wouldn't let go for ten minutes. So Annoying Girl had Crazyass Roommate on her back for ten minutes. This included sitting on said Crazyass Roommate when Annoying Girl sat down to have her breakfast. I don't know what the point of this story was, aside from bothering me, but if this was the goal, then mission accomplished.

posted by Nicole @ 2:06 PM
|

Today during the break in class, a classmate came up to me to talk. I asked her how she was able to control her laughter, what with Fabio sitting so close to her, and she gave me a proud and amused looked. She thought that her nickname had spread all over the class, and I had to correct her. Dude, everybody calls him Fabio because everybody has eyes. It was the only reasonable thing to call him. Then she asked me if his name was "Jonjon." I have to admit that, at that point, I though she was just making up things. But no, she was right. We looked at the group assignments posted on the board, and given where he was sitting and who he was with, Jonjon was the only possible person he could be.

How is it possible that his real name is still so funny?

Awesome.

posted by Nicole @ 1:35 AM
|

I went to a Matisyahu concert tonight. Actually, let me back up a bit. I'd found out who Matisyahu was last month, just days after he'd performed in Montreal. For those of you who don't know, and who are too lazy to click on the link, Matisyahu is a Hasidic Jew who raps and does reggae. I saw a clip of him rapping on College Humor and liked what I saw. It sounds sort of gimmicky (OOOOOOOhhhhhh! A rapping Jew who's not in the Beastie Boys!), but he's amazingly talented. One doesn't need to put any kind of label on him in order to attract the novelty crowd. He's just that good. I liked how he was able to integrate his religious beliefs into his performance without seeming cheesy or disingenuous. I might be slightly biased in this respect, since I actually enjoy religious music of all kinds, but an areligious guy who was with me at the concert agreed. I like listening to people who have a message and who are capable of speaking to experiences other than broken hearts or sexual desire.
The band opening for him, whose name we never did get, were just terrible. The lead singer, an angry-looking man wearing a "Five Dollar Ho" t-shirt, was a fright to behold. He looked as though he didn't like the audience, and I hope that wasn't his best performance because it was totally meh. The good thing about Nameless Intro Band's set was that the music didn't sound bad if you didn't look directly at the lead singer, so I had a lot of time to people-watch. There was a party of about five at the foot of the stage. One girl, wearing a gray workout tank with a wifebeater underneath, was dancing like she didn't care. Except she totally did. She tried to make it look as though her dancing was spontaneous, but the calculation was clear. She had very few moves in her arsenal, and usually ended up repeating herself before the end of a song. She seemed to like to shake her left arm and shoulder spastically. This girl also had the most amazing mullet I've ever seen in person. It was totally a throwback to 1987. As she was dancing, she was shaking her mullet like it was the greatest thing since the Rachel. Awesome.
The most hilarious part was that this girl (Girl #1) had a friend (Girl #2) who was clearly trying to copy Girl #1's moves. Except that Girl #2 obviously hadn't put in the requisite mirror time, so she was just off beat and terrible. She seemed to realize this about five seconds after she started performing any one repetitive motion, and the she'd stop, only to switch to some other repetitive motion and run into the same problem again. She never did seem to learn. Toward the end of Matisyahu's set a guy joined this party, and although he was very attractive, his stupid facial hair bothered me. He didn't have a beard, or even a soul patch (another form of hair that I wholeheartedly detest), he just had a strip of hair about two centimeters in diameter that went from his lower lip to his chin. Time spent keeping that thing so small is obviously time wasted.

posted by Nicole @ 1:35 AM
|

Update: I just realized that I should probably spend less time laughing at unfortunate people and more time reading my own blog. I've already posted about Fabio, but I don't believe in editing, so I'm leaving both posts.

There's a guy that Jen and I call Fabio in a couple of my classes. We have no idea what his name is, and no interest in finding it out. From the second he walked through the door (late, so everyone turned to look when he came in), he was Fabio, and Fabio he'll remain. Fabio is in his mid to late twenties. Despite the fact this this is Montreal (and not Montego Bay), he always wears a tight white t-shirt. His long dark hair gleams as though those locks had never been imprisoned in a winter cap. He has an expression that bears more than a passing resemblance to "Blue Steel," and I defy anybody who has seen this man to picture him saying, "I cahn't beleaf it's naht buhturrrr," and not crack up. The human animal has not yes mastered the level of control necessary to perform this feat. When not trying to burn a hole into you with his laser beam eyes, Fabio sits at his desk and pouts. It's like, "Okay, we get it. Your cheeks have hollows that the starving supermodels in Paris would kill for."

The best thing ever about Fabio is that last Thursday he walked into class 15 minutes late. It was the first meeting of that particular class, and Fabio had arrived at the exact point where the professor was talking about how important it is for people to arrive on time. Think that he was embarrassed? I don't know whether he was, but I'm quite certain that that was the highlight of that class. I'd actually just written Jen a note that said, "Where is Fabio?" so I was gratified to get my answer so soon.

I think that Fabio will be my obsession this semester, because time will go by much quicker that way (except he's not in the most boring class, so Fabio isn't as useful to me as he could be).

posted by Nicole @ 10:30 PM
|

I suppose that I can't really get upset with people for not updating their blogs when I hardly update mine, right? I just don't have much to say. I'm back in Montreal, and this semester is already about 100 times better than last semester, simply in terms of my professors and their general level of interest in their subjects. There's still time for disillusionment, I guess.

There's a kid in my class that I've nicknamed "Fabio" because he looks like a reject from the cover of a Harlequin Romance. He always wears a tight white t-shirt (short sleeved...in Montreal...weirdo). His brown hair, which is longer than shoulder-length, is always carefully combed and shiny. And he pouts. All. the. time. It's disturbing to look at him, because I absolutely cannot control the giggles. We don't sit near each other though, so I doubt that he notices. I've got everybody else calling him Fabio, too, which wasn't my intention; we just don't know his name (and aren't really interested, either).

Good times.

posted by Nicole @ 7:12 PM
|